Reread “Know or Not” to understand: why Hualan’s marriage is not happy?Just because she made three mistakes

2022-05-12 0 By

In the “Know whether” original work, Hua LAN is the model of the sheng family girl, she is bright and elegant, and knowledgeable, but also virtuous and dignified, full of the capital of the ladies circle have praised her.However, hualan is such a pick, in the marriage also once made confused, at that time her marriage a chicken.The confusion she once committed is the pain of many women today.Hua LAN is the elder sister of The Sheng family. She is the first legitimate daughter born by Wang when Hong Sheng was not yet well developed.At that time, Sheng Hong was still working as a small official in a cold land, and he and his wife needed to take care of many things themselves.So Hualan early learned to help the family take care of things, lovely people love dearly.Even Hong Sheng couldn’t help saying, ‘Among all the children, I love Hua the most.’There is a paragraph in the original: Hua LAN is a big sister type girl, she has a big sister complex.However, her younger brother Long Bai was young and mature, and did not need her to tell him what to do;Such as orchid unruly by nature, Hua LAN training her, she has a mouth back, and there are mother Wang shi to protect, so Hua LAN with close sister such as orchid is not close.Aunt Lin’s two children, Hua LAN despised;There is a brother long building is too small, Hualan did not have the chance to put her big sister’s spectrum in front of the long building, so Hualan only like Minglan.On the eve of her marriage, Hua LAN saw that her mother was busy, so she took the initiative to take care of Ming LAN. She gave Her delicious food to Ming LAN.Supervise Ming LAN to take medicine and stipulate that if she drinks less than half a bowl, she should add another bowl;In order to supervise Ming LAN kick shuttlecock exercise, also made a booklet specially to do records.When Sheng Hong heard this, he also nodded and praised, ‘Hua ‘er has the style of elder sister, which is very good.’In the training class of Mother Kong, because of the reason of The Orchid, several orchid conflict occurred.When He heard what happened, He didn’t ask questions and shouted at Hua LAN first: ‘You are the elder sister, and you are much older than them. I expected that you could look after your younger sister and set a good example, but I didn’t expect you to be so mean and don’t like her at all. If you get married in the future, you will lose face to our Sheng family!’Translation adult words is: “you are bigger than her, you have to yield to her!”You see, just because Hua LAN is the elder sister, Sheng Hong requires her to have the style of the elder sister, to care for her younger siblings, to be capable and to help the family to share things.Although Sheng Hong’s words are quite serious, it can also be seen that he has high hopes for Hua LAN, and his reproach to Hua LAN can be said to be the deep responsibility of love.When Mammy Kong explained the reason clearly and finished her speech, hua LAN’s performance was particularly interesting. Hua LAN put a stem on her neck and shouted, “I am the elder sister. It is my fault that the younger sisters have made mistakes.Under the influence of Sheng Hong’s thought, Hua LAN has developed the personality of taking charge of everything since childhood.She no matter their ability is enough, no matter whether the requirements are reasonable, just because they are the eldest, so they must do the best, so that they can become a model of sister-in-law, can manage sister-in-law.Such a character in their own home is naturally very good, but stubborn Hualan has used the wrong place.Hualan married Yuan Wenshao in loyal qin Bo house second, big room daughter-in-law is Mrs. Yuan’s niece.Because it is a pro plus pro’s sake, Hua LAN mother-in-law is very fond of his daughter-in-law, the housekeeper should be their own or daughter-in-law to bear the responsibility of the second daughter-in-law Hua LAN.To know that although Yuan Wenshao is a legitimate son, but there is a brother above.In those days he had no claim to the title and had to work for himself.Therefore, hualan’s responsibility as a housekeeper, although she looks at the scenery on the surface, is actually for others to make wedding clothes.It is a pity that Hualan was always wise and confused, and did not understand the key to this.In the original, sheng old lady heard about this matter, immediately asked Hualan to throw out the thankless job.Wang did not understand the old lady’s good intentions, but also blamed the old lady confused, how to finally catch the hands of the right to release.At that time, Hua LAN admitted: “I also can’t bear to give up.”Fortunately, Hualan is smart after all, after the sheng old lady’s point, immediately want to understand the truth, the thankless job to throw out, wholeheartedly manage their own small home, finally keep the clouds open to see the moon.Because of her upbringing, Hua LAN has always been strict with herself, assuming that she would be respected, but in fact she has been taken advantage of.Zhu Deyong said: don’t always force yourself, sometimes put down your hand to breathe, let others hold the day first.Marriage, sometimes have to learn minglan, do not have to try to be brave, have to learn to do a little woman.After the Sheng family moved to the capital for the sake of their family, Hua LAN was finally able to return to her mother’s home, and yuan Wenshao came back that day.There were two large seats in the house, the men in the outer seat and the women in the inner seat.At that time, Minglan listened to men outside the banquet, and found that a table of men outside, although the official position is not high, but a few people together, the strength is not small.The human relation that understands ancient family society immediately is really intricate.Later, when Wang wanted to marry Ming LAN to Liang Han, She advised Him by saying, ‘Do you think about it? Won’t You be wronged if You match Ming’s beautiful color with his family?If we can make friends with the Liang family, the Brothers will have friends in the future.”It can be seen that marriage was a more secure form of alliance at that time, and marrying well or marrying well would bring great benefits to the family.Although parents love their children, it is a long-term plan.Although Sheng Hong also repeatedly said that he would not let Hua LAN wronged, he himself in order to Hua LAN’s marriage, but also deliberately to find familiar colleagues to ask for details.Although it is not stated in the book, it can be seen that Hualan’s marriage has a hint of asking for directions.Westlands to marry into loyal frequently “mansion, her father shing lee has not been to Beijing, is only a six year, however, wang’s standard is to the westlands pick husband like this:” good to family, base thickness, the population is simple, in-laws sister-in-law, making good what matters most is the somebody else later must have the ability, or reading have fame, either will work with industry, or have a martial arts the title.”There were three candidates for Hualan’s marriage.They are the grandson of the government and the son of the governor of Kaifeng, the rest is zhong Qin Bo Fu’s second son Yuan Wenshao.Sheng Hong of Hualan’s marriage or use the heart, to hear that the palace is gold and jade outside of which;Although the Yin family of Kaifeng prefecture was in line with their family, his son was also in line with Hualandeng’s appearance and conduct. Unfortunately, they were gambling on lizhu, which was a big taboo at that time, so both of them were passed away.Only loyal qin Bo Fu Yuan Wenshao, Sheng Hong for this alone to find familiar colleagues to inquire, and went to see the future father-in-law.After some probing, he finally knew that zhongqinbo house was neglected as an earl’s house, because he had been involved in a treason case and had been seized of the knighthole. Later, he found that the injustice was reinstated.Although now the Yuan family is indeed a little shabby, but this Yuan Wenshao capable sensible, is a good young man with ambition.But ah, however, it has to be noticed that when Wang didn’t think that the Yuan family was a poor one, Sheng Hong said to Wang, “No matter how bad the Yuan family is, he will always have a title to protect him. If his official career doesn’t go well, he will at least have a bo fu to rely on.”The so-called skinny camel is bigger than the horse, we have to say that The old man sheng has a sharp eye.In addition, it should be noted that Zhong Qin bo fu was in the capital, and Later Sheng Hong also took office in the capital.The in-laws must have played a part.In addition to the men needed to rely on marriage to form an alliance, at that time the sheng girls married well, also depends on the performance of the sister Hualan.Even Sister Kong said: “The eldest sister is a living sign, when she has a baby and stands on her feet, if I can still jump, I can shout for the remaining sisters.”Under such a background, Hualan’s marriage can be said to bear the future of the whole Sheng family.In fact, the intelligent Hualan deeply knows that her high marriage is to pave the way for her family, and she knows the responsibility on her shoulders.So after she married into the Yuan family, although she encountered all kinds of difficulties from her mother-in-law, she can choose to endure for her family.But she forgot that one has to love oneself before one can love others.Gong Li once said: “If you care too much about the evaluation of the outside world, you will not have your own life.”She had forgotten What Mother Kong had taught her: that she should not blindly avoid difficulties, and that she should not blindly shoulder them, but should devise a proper way to make the situation go round.Fortunately, When He Moved to Beijing, under the guidance of the old lady, Hua LAN finally became enlightened and learned to show weakness to her husband, so that her husband realized his neglect of Hua LAN and his harm to Her mother’s foolish filial piety, and beautifully won back her husband’s heart.Hualan and appropriate to make friends with their helpful lady, with public opinion overpower their evil mother-in-law.Later it is to use the “bad idea” provided by Ming LAN, completely rid of the evil mother-in-law’s influence on their life.Like Hualan at the beginning of the tolerance, even their own husband can not see, let alone other people?So at the beginning, Hualan’s forbearance was futile and only hurt herself.I put up with it. I back down. It’s all for you!Many women feel this way, but the sacrifices you make must be seen by the other person, otherwise others will take your tolerance for granted.In marriage, not can not tolerate, but this tolerance is valuable.Hua LAN looks very beautiful. In the original work, she said that she is like a magnolia flower bud bright and bright. Ming LAN once envied Yuan Wenshao: the guy surnamed Yuan is good luck.In addition, Hua LAN is the eldest in the family, her parents are the only pet, and the old lady Sheng likes her and has taken her with her for a while. All these have formed hua LAN’s decisive character, and she is very proud of it.Holes in the original version, mammy had China LAN to longly say: “big face”, you are the big sheng fu, miss the original than sisters more decent, master and the old woman is also the most dote on you, Mrs Sun long, and then raise your JiaoJiao, in my mind, then head straight leng brain rebukes sister, also from no one said you.”The wang in the original discussions with westlands married life, also once expressed concerns: “I am most afraid of be you this pair of temper, isn not afraid of anything, say is lively, lingering finish say bad is vitriolic, I had with your father, is low to marry, but now you are marry, do you when a mother-in-law as your grandmother so accommodating regardless?People in the room, favoring other wives, skimping money…In time, you will suffer.”But at that time hua LAN proudly returned to her mother: “I am not afraid. In the future, no one will interfere in the house or outside.”Talk too much and reality will slap you in the face.Hualan’s married life was just as Wang had expected, with an abrasive mother-in-law and a favored sister-in-law.Mother-in-law always called Hualan station rules;Let her housekeeper but the property in his hands, Hualan had to come up with their own dowry subsidies;Her mother-in-law took advantage of her pregnancy and miscarriage, and kept stuffing people into their room…A lot of things, but the family is not in front of, and no one to tell.In addition, hua LAN was proud and stubborn, so she did not want to tell her family about her troubles. She also wanted to maintain the appearance of beauty and the image of her big sister. Every time she wrote home, she would report good news and not bad news.In the original novel, Hua LAN officially returns to her parents’ home for the first time after the Lisheng family moves to the capital.Until the sheng old lady sent the others out, leaving Hualan alone, Hualan also strong from calm, asked the old lady: why so?The old lady did not answer, but only pulled Hua LAN, carefully watched her look, until Hua LAN looked uneasy, slowly said: “girl, these years you have said in the letter everything is going well, grandmother today asked you a sentence, you can not hide, you this day how?”Hua LAN smiled uncontrollably and said with a strong smile, “What grandma said is certainly good.”The old lady closed her eyes, heaved a deep sigh, hugged Hualan to her side, and sighed: “You even want to hide grandmother?”Hua LAN could not help but feel bewildered and said with trembling voice, “I don’t know whether I live a good life or not.”So far, Hualan’s lies were discovered by the family.Fortunately, at this time, Hua LAN’s mother’s family had begun to become prosperous and moved to the capital. Hua LAN had strong support. Only with the concerted help of her family, she could outwit her evil mother-in-law, win back her husband’s heart, and finally usher in a harmonious family life after many years of marriage.In the end, Hualan’s proud character made her take many detours.Comparatively speaking, Hualan in the sheng several orchid in the original inking is not much.But she is the most down-to-earth in her marriage, because many women make the same mistake.Hualan does not know that marriage needs to be managed, and blindly trying to be strong will only cause more troubles for herself. She hopes that we can manage our marriage well and show weakness properly instead of being strong.Don’t make unnecessary sacrifices, keep the bottom line when concession;Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you’re in trouble.You and your partner support each other through life to make life enjoyable.Pay attention to me don’t get lost, more wonderful content will never let you down!(Note: original is not easy, refused to copy.The picture is from the Internet, thanks to the original picture author.If there is infringement, please contact the author.