Chen Shan, the “true-love” character in The Perfect Partner, is a woman who can hardly be happy in life

2022-04-27 0 By

When I was writing a review of The Perfect Companion, I wrote that Sun Lei’s “kindness” would actually have many negative effects in a marriage, so many friends expressed their unbelief. They said: You always say there is something wrong with Sun Lei, can Chen Shan do everything right?Really isn’t.I never thought of it that way.However, the space of each article is limited, so I can only focus on one topic or one person to write. If I write about one side’s fault, it does not mean that the other side I did not write about is necessarily right.As a matter of fact, both husband and wife should take responsibility whenever problems arise in marriage.Take Chen Shan’s divorce with Sun Lei for example. Although Sun Lei was wrong, Chen Shan’s many actions were indeed undesirable. It was the two of them who jointly pushed the marriage to divorce.So what’s Chen Shan’s problem?Chen Shan’s biggest problem is that she is “serious”.At the beginning, in order to promote cooperation with Lin Qingkun, she did not look at her daughter’s injury after the car rear-ended, but wanted to pass the document to Lin Qingkun at the first time.Although the daughter’s trauma is not serious, but her such a practice, in the emotional husband and children will be a very serious harm.In the workplace, we all know that work is never easy, but we also know that no collaboration is 100% guaranteed to succeed, and it’s normal to fail once in a while.But Chen Shan’s “truer” let her not allow him to have such a failure, so she will disregard the safety of the family to achieve their goals.Chen Shan is such a person, on the surface, her “serious” is only aimed at work, but in fact, every time she serious about work, hurt the feelings of husband and wife and family.You see, a person in life, energy and time are limited, you too much into the work, will inevitably neglect the family.Of course, I’m not saying that we should put work after family, but that we should prioritize and not compete with time and abandon our kids for a job that isn’t so urgent.For example, when Tiaotiao forgot to wear his white shoes, Chen Shan said she had an appointment with someone else and didn’t have time to give it to her daughter, which we could understand.But her about the people just met and said a few words on the walk, she was completely in time to send shoes to her daughter, but she in order to query the wild goose fly, insist not to send.Is it important to find out about the goose?Important.But it was not necessary for a few minutes to ask, and she could not ask, let alone what had been deliberately concealed from her, and even if she could, what difference would the delay make?But she just had to get serious, had to ask right away, and didn’t even answer the phone.Chen Shan’s behavior is not an occasional event, but her character. She always deals with things in this way every time.It is her “love serious” character, has become a great defect of her marriage and family management.The influence of “serious love” on marriage.Like Chen Shan, it seems that she only takes her work seriously, but she ignores her family and hurts the feelings of her relatives. In fact, it does great harm to her marriage.Sun Lei once blamed Chen Shan for not knowing how many nannies the family had changed. Although I do not agree with Sun Lei’s idea, this also reflects the influence of Chen Shan’s “serious love” on marriage and family.That’s what work is all about, you might say. Who could easily put family first?What I want to say is that I don’t deny her dedication to her work. What I deny is that she doesn’t have to take seriously in the first place.If your job is one of those things where every minute counts, like fireman, doctor, etc., that’s a different story.In our life, there are really a lot of such people, they like serious, do a thing, obviously it does not have to be done in a day, but she can not finish feeling that they can not go home, can not take the phone call from their lover, can not accompany their children to say two words.Such a spirit is praiseworthy, but such an attitude is not to be encouraged.Having a family is never about working and not having a family. It’s about doing both as much as you can.What’s the point of working so hard if you don’t care about the safety and health of yourself and your family?Of course, it’s not just in the workplace that we see this kind of intense personality more often.For example, in some families, the husband says a word that makes his wife uncomfortable, and the wife insists on letting him explain it to her satisfaction.Or a couple may disagree, and one of them has to decide who is right and who is wrong.These may seem like little things, but once they become part of your personality and habits — that is, you are the kind of person who takes things seriously — your marriage is bound to suffer, and the longer it goes on, the more pronounced it becomes.Therefore, for a woman like Chen Shan, it is difficult for her to be happy in life.Whether she’s serious at work, or serious at home, it’s the relationship that gets hurt.Conclusion: each of us, should have their own principles and view of right and wrong, to do those right things, against those wrong things.But in principle and view of right and wrong, but also have a heart not serious.This unserious heart mainly contains two points.One is not serious with time.If it’s something you think you should do, but it won’t make much difference if you do it later, you don’t have to leave your family behind to do it.Two is not serious with the small things.Opinions and disagreements between couples don’t have to be right or wrong, so you don’t have to stick to them.So-called “just fold, good soft unbeaten”, those who love truer people, while hurting the family, often also can let oneself covered with exhaustion.About the author: Love each other, a woman who likes reading and writing, focuses on the creation of articles in the field of emotion as well as the analysis and solution of emotional problems. I hope my words can accompany you warm forward.