Learn to trouble others, in fact, is a kind of love skills

2022-04-24 0 By

When I saw this topic, the first thing THAT came to my mind was a senior student I met in my sophomore year.In my eyes, she is really a very excellent person.She failed in the college entrance examination and went to a junior college, but later she was admitted to an undergraduate course by virtue of her own efforts.When she graduated as a science major, she did not engage in her major, but plunged into the we-media industry.When we took 3, 4 thousand internship wages, her personal staff has been operating more than a dozen public accounts, with several times our high wages.Two years after graduation, she had already bought a house in her hometown. After buying a house, she felt that it was not so interesting to be a “we media” anymore and turned to a university to be a teacher.She is very good but also very strong, as long as they can do things, never bother others.Even with her boyfriend, she doesn’t need his help.In her boyfriend’s words, not feeling wanted in her.But she also loves her boyfriend, often busy after their own work to clean up for him, from time to time to prepare a little surprise for each other.When she needs to make a decision, she doesn’t need her boyfriend’s advice. She does everything herself.She is too rational, she is afraid of dependence, if she leaves, will let herself hurt.So to avoid possible harm, she had to wrap herself up like a hedgehog.But finally she was broken up, she is not unaware of their problems, but she just felt that they can not learn to trouble others, strange.Have to admit, now women really good independent, whether it is economic or life.Many women can get out of the hall and down the kitchen, insert flowers and carry buckets, change light bulbs and open toilets.At first glance, she does look like a superwoman who can do anything and doesn’t need a man.But by doing everything, men don’t feel like they exist.Most men still like to take care of others and feel dependent.We always advocate the pursuit of independent, equal love, but two people go to live together, there must be a need for each other.When you don’t speak up, few people really understand the vulnerability and need behind you.The right amount of hassle can sometimes act as a catalyst for a relationship to take it to the next level.And people who consistently refuse to bother others and refuse others’ help tend to feel less loved in their relationships.In fact, I used to be a person who was afraid to trouble others, even his family.When I was in junior high school, my classmates had family members to pick them up at the beginning of the semester and at the end of the semester, but I moved around alone.It was the same for me to study abroad in high school and college. No matter how much luggage I had, I never thought of asking others for help even when I was exhausted.It’s not that my family doesn’t love me and don’t help me, but I feel subconsciously that I will cause them trouble and feel bad. I also fear that they are very hard and tired to run around.The residential life before college did not let me really integrate into the collective life.Others help each other to fetch food and water, but I do my own thing.But it was not unsociable, on the contrary, my roommates, classmates and I all had a good time, all day long fighting, laughing and laughing.But when I really need it, I think I can do it by myself and there is no need to ask others for help.At that time, I, a person shopping, a person to see a doctor, can not trouble others do not trouble.I saved a lot of trouble, but SOMETIMES I felt a little lost, because I didn’t feel very close to someone.Now look back, found that once twisted ba blinded his eyes, pretend to be strong, but behind is afraid.I don’t want to add trouble to my family because I’m afraid they will be worried and tired, I don’t want to trouble my friends, and I’m also afraid of being rejected and disliked by my friends.To put it bluntly, it is nothing more than the inability to rely on others. Even though they desire to establish more intimate relationships with others, they instinctively reject them and cannot convince themselves.No matter how well you get along with the people around you, you can’t build deep and lasting connections with them.I always feel that I have received a favor from others and must return it to others at a suitable time.So they think the best way is not to trouble each other.02 Being afraid of bothering People is Not necessarily a Strength. I love Please Answer 1988. The whole show is very tender, but I often get stuck in some parts of it.When a gas leak occurred in Deoksun’s house, one of his parents carried his older sister and the other his younger brother.But to the door also did not think of a good, finally or strong good climb out of their own.When there were only two eggs left in the house, Deoksun’s mother had already decided to fry them for her sister and brother, so she looked at Deoksun in embarrassment.Sensible deok-seon can only say that it doesn’t matter, although deok-seon looks careless, but deok-seon is the most standing in the perspective of parents.She is also eager to get parents’ attention and preference, but sensible she does not want to worry about their parents, do not want to add trouble to their parents.So unlike her sister, unlike her brother, she can always openly say what she wants, even if not happy, but also hold in their heart.Such is life, the more sensible the child has no sugar to eat.Because everyone thinks you’re independent, you’re strong, you’re already good, you don’t need too much attention, you can do well.But if being too troublesome is a weakness, is not being troublesome really a strength?One of its most obvious drawbacks is its apparent lack of closeness to the people around it.The good family to you always row behind, friends are friendly to you, it is difficult to enter your heart, and you become a real confidant.Being too embarrassed to bother others and doing everything on your own can often make your partner feel frustrated that they don’t need you.So small things can be solved by themselves, but some things can not be solved without hard support, occasionally show a weak, may have unexpected harvest.Too many facts have proved that too much care about a relationship, will only give a person a sense of alienation and polite, pushing people further and further away.I was watching a variety show about love recently and found that girls who express their emotions can really help a relationship develop in a positive direction.For example, when a boy who likes each other gets along happily with another girl in a brotherly way, the guest sister will express her uncomfortable feelings and ask him to be careful.And has been holding their own ideas of male and female guests, even if the beginning of the love of their people, to the end because they can not see each other’s further care, finally have no chance to come together.Therefore, in getting along with others, we must learn to express our needs and feelings at the right time.Some people always say it’s hard to feel secure in a relationship. Where does insecurity come from?It’s appropriate to state why you dread the start of a relationship and why you don’t find reliable feelings in your partner.Sick don’t be hard to carry, you can let the other party to help buy a medicine, accompany yourself to a hospital.Do not say what you like to eat, and let him take more of the luggage he can’t carry.This kind of housework is not your one person should undertake the obligation, can let him learn to share with you.There’s no shame in choosing your partner. Don’t be coy and afraid to show your vulnerability.The process of expressing your feelings is also a test of whether the other party values you.If the response is negative, you can stop your losses in time.If the other person values your needs, changes, and encourages you not to hide but to express more.This will also help you learn more about expressing your needs and feelings, which is a good thing.And if wronged also do not say, over time, not only lose the ability to love others, but also lose the ability to love actively.You don’t need to push someone away repeatedly until you are sure you are exceptional. You should give them a chance to be needed and a chance to love you.Mutual trouble and interdependence are essential ingredients of a good relationship.A person who truly loves you feels secure in being counted on when you turn to them for help.If he doesn’t respond to your legitimate needs, don’t doubt yourself that the relationship just isn’t worth it.The author | IDA unconstrained style of Aquarius, learn computer education practitioners, hobby reading, watching movies, study the way of relationships, by the way, believe lucky life is your own.